One of my favorite moments that happens when a group of friends gets together is when someone brings up the Enneagram! As a certified Enneagram life coach, I know that the technicalities of the Enneagram can be confusing—that’s why I’m sharing what you truly need to know about the Enneagram in today’s episode! Listen in as I share about Enneagram numbers, wings, types, and sub-types, along with how to use your Enneagram type in your life!

Welcome to The Enneagram Girl Podcast, hosted by Alicia Larkey, a Certified Enneagram Life Coach & Relationship Coach. If you feel overwhelmed in your relationships and want to start feeling seen, heard, validated, and hopeful, you’re in the right place. Through thoughtful exploration and explanation of your Enneagram type, you’ll become more confident in your behaviors, emotions, intentions, and reactions.

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Introducing the Enneagram

Like many personality tests out there, most people look to the Enneagram as a fun way to explore who they are without doing the work to dig into how it can impact their lives. After becoming a Certified Enneagram Life Coach and Marriage Coach, and investing in courses and training for the past several years, I was excited to build a business professionally coaching people on how to understand themselves better.

Now, I want to help people understand how the Enneagram can improve their lives, their relationships, their business, and how they treat themselves. The Enneagram provides the tools for you to practice awareness in your life.

It Isn’t Just About a Number

While you may have taken the test and learned what your number is to bring up in conversations, that’s not what the Enneagram is about. It’s about learning who you are, why you do things the way you do, and how to improve your life and the relationships around you by honing in on your Enneagram type (as well as the types of those around you).

Using the Enneagram to Become Aware of You

The Enneagram can help you explore why you always struggling in an area or season in your life, why you keep having the same arguments with the people in your life, and why you sabotage yourself from the things you want. You don’t have to be your own worst enemy!

There are so many layers to the Enneagram that are often overlooked, or even left untouched because people tend to stick to the basic layers of the Enneagram. I’m here to help you navigate beyond that! I don’t want you to stop learning before you get to the good stuff.

Let’s go beyond that number and personality trait.

You are more than those two things. It’s only after you learn more about yourself through the Enneagram that you can begin to learn more about the people around you. Let’s get started with first figuring out what your type is so we can dive deeper; I recommend the Cloverleaf Enneagram Assessment!

The Nine Enneagram Types/Numbers

Enneagram 1

Enneagram Ones are usually known as the Reformer or the Perfectionist. The key to a type One is knowing their motivation or desire. They are motivated by being good, being right, or having integrity. They most fear being corrupt or defective or wrong. Their Center of Intelligence is through their gut or body… meaning they filter things viscerally.

Some of the ways this might show up for a Type One are… that they are hard-working. They value precision and order. They tend to be rational, and are idealists who are principled. They love doing things quote “the right way”. They desire to be accurate, especially in their work, and they have integrity. They are very motivated to improve the world around them. Some of the areas they can have challenges in will look like perfectionism. Perfectionism can get the best of them by holding them back, and making them less productive. Instead of just getting it done or making progress, they’ll freeze up because they can’t find a way to make it perfect. They can be harder on themselves than even their biggest critic.

Enneagram 2

Enneagram Twos are known as the Helper or the Hostess. The key to a type Two is knowing their motivation or desire. They are most motivated by feeling loved, appreciated and needed.
They most fear being unwanted, unworthy of love, or too much. Their center of Intelligence is through their heart… meaning they filter things emotionally.

Some of the ways this might show up for a Type Two are… that they enjoy serving and helping others. They even know what other people need before they might say it to them. They are empathetic, and see the world through relationships and connection. They are supportive and encouraging, and usually become advisors who show up as selfless and generous, even to strangers.

Some of their challenges are that they become so outward-focused which can lead them to becoming like an emotional sponge who takes on other people’s energy, both positive and negative. Their desire to be appreciated and needed can lead to people pleasing and a struggle with pride. They can also be overbearing or co-dependent.

Enneagram 3

Enneagram Threes are known as the Achiever or the Performer. They are most motivated by feeling valuable, being successful and being admired. They fear being inefficient, or failing, or being worthless. Their Center of Intelligence is through their heart… meaning they filter things emotionally.

Some of the ways this might show up for a Type Three are… that they are highly motivated individuals. They are adaptive and success-oriented. They are often efficient, enthusiastic and productive. While being great at achieving goals and setting goals for both themselves and their team, they can be very competitive.

Some of the challenges are that they often take the lead, even if it means cutting corners on things they see as unnecessary parts. They can be insensitive to others while in their achieving space. Their desire to be admired can tend to make them more image-focused, and they can lose sight of truly connecting within their relationship.

Enneagram 4

Enneagram Fours are known as the Individualist or the Romantic. They are most motivated by finding themselves, being unique or special, and their significance. They fear being flawed or without identity, of being inadequate or insignificant. Their Center of Intelligence is through their heart… meaning they filter things emotionally.

Some of the ways this might show up for a Type Four are… that they are emotionally honest and can hold space for the deep feelings of others. They are endearing, and tend to be highly creative and inspiring. They are sensitive and can find beauty even in the most painful of circumstances.

Some of the challenges are that they may need time to withdraw in their feelings, and can sometimes wallow in self-pity. They can be envious of others while denying it because they can believe they are flawed and inadequate. Fours long for a sense of belonging deep down & worry other people might not truly ever understand them.

Enneagram 5

Enneagram Fives are known as the Investigator or the Thinker. They are most motivated by being capable, useful, knowledgeable and competent. They fear being useless, having no energy, being helpless, or incapable. Their Center of Intelligence is through their mind… meaning they filter things through thinking.

Some of the ways this might show up for a Type Five are… that they are intellectual thinkers who are very observant, and often more introverted than extroverted. They are curious, independent, love innovation, and like to gather as much knowledge and research before making a decision. They are analytical, therefore needing time to process.

Some of the challenges are that they can seem eccentric and preoccupied with their own thoughts, which can hurt their relationships by not participating emotionally, or lacking a desire to be present. Their gathering of vast knowledge and analytical style can sometimes come across as arrogance or superiority.

Enneagram 6

Enneagram Sixes are known as the Loyalist or Guardian. They are most motivated by safety, loyalty security and being supported. They fear being in danger, being without support, targeted or being unprepared. Their Center of Intelligence is through their mind. They filter things through thinking.

Some of the ways this might show up for a Type Six are… that they are committed and responsible and effective. They are the guardians of their people and make sure they have what they need going into situations. They are great team players, they are hard workers and loyal to those they care about.

Some of the challenges are that because of their deep need for stability and security, they can suffer from constant anxiety, overthinking and consistent fears. Sixes can be drawn to safe authority figures while also rejecting them in a counter-phobic style. Trust has to be earned with a six before it is given.

Enneagram 7

Enneagram Sevens are known as the Enthusiast or Entertainer. They are most motivated by being satisfied or content. They like being free and being fulfilled. They fear being deprived or trapped in pain or unsatisfied. Their Center of Intelligence is through their mind. They filter things through thinking.

Some of the ways this might show up for a Type Seven are… that they are the entertaining optimists in the group. They like to stay busy, but be spontaneous and not be tied down. They are fun loving, playful and down for new people and new experiences.

Some of the challenges are that they can be unreliable or unfocused, and don’t like being limited. Because of their desire to be satisfied and stimulated, they will avoid processing their real pain. They tend to blame others for what’s happening to them and can sometimes refuse to work on the growth that needed in their relationships.

Enneagram 8

Enneagram Eights are known as the Challenger or Protector. They are motivated by protecting themselves, being independent, autonomous, self-reliant. They fear being controlled by others or vulnerable or harmed. Their Center of Intelligence is through their gut or body. They filter things viscerally.

Some of the ways this might show up for a Type Eight are… that they are the leaders who are often powerful. They are self-confident and protective, both of themselves and of others. They like making decisions quickly and desire to be in control or lead most of the time. They like to defend others from injustice, and protect themselves from all levels of threat. They have big energy and like to live life to the fullest.

Some of the challenges are that they can come across as intimidating or intense. Sometimes they can make others uncomfortable because they are very comfortable with confrontation or conflict.

Enneagram 9

Enneagram Nines are known as the Peacemaker or the Mediator. They are most motivated by having inner stability and peace of mind. They like to avoid whatever would cause conflict in their environment. They fear tension, separation, loss, arguments and losing peace around them. Their Center of Intelligence is through their gut or body. They filter things viscerally.

Some of the ways that this might show up for a Type Nine are… that they are easygoing, adaptable and usually the mediators who are agreeable and patient. They make great teammates because they are supportive and reassuring to all people around them. They like to see everyone’s point of view, and they don’t usually share their own true opinion for fear of upsetting someone.

Some of the challenges that Nines face are that they are so conflict-avoidant, they can withdraw from their role in their relationships which can harm the connection. They have difficulty creating structures, and they struggle with following through all the way to the end of the task. Because of becoming complacent, they can miss out on great opportunities.

What we just covered is just a small piece of the Enneagram puzzle—it’s not a label or a box to place yourself in. This season on the Enneagram Girl podcast, we’ll be exploring the relationships between types, how to explore your own personal story with the Enneagram, and leave a legacy with your own life by understanding the Enneagram and how it can impact everything around you.

Find It Quickly:

2:17 – Introducing the Enneagram

11:39 – My Enneagram Journey

22:28 – The Nine Enneagram Types

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Review the Transcript:

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Enneagram girl podcast. I’m your host, Alicia Larkey. I am so excited to talk to you today about something so dear to my heart. One of my favorite moments that happens with a group of friends, is when someone brings up the Enneagram.

I’ll hear things like, oh my gosh, I love the Enneagram. I’m a three, what are you, or someone else yells out, I don’t remember which number I am. But I’m the one who likes to argue a lot, which always makes me laugh because no one technically likes to argue. But there are some Enneagram types that are more comfortable with conflict. Or someone else will say I did that test one time, it said I was like three different numbers. Mine was like a two wings seven or something like that. Which also makes me giggle because there’s technically no two wings seven wings can only be the two numbers on each side of your type. But we’ll get to more of that later. I do get how all of this information, the wings, the numbers type subtype stances can all feel super confusing. The Enneagram is a massive tool with information on the many layers of what makes us who we are, and more importantly, why we are that way. So keeping it straight can be hard sometimes. But I’m here to help change that.

Let’s walk through what it’s really is and how it can help you get the exact life you’ve been dreaming of. And even improve your relationships and help you succeed more in business. So let’s get started. Hi, friends. Welcome to the Enneagram girl podcast. I’m your host, Alicia Larkey. On this podcast, we explore all things Enneagram and relationships, from friendships, to dating to marriage, and parenting, and everything else in between. As a certified Enneagram, life coach and marriage coach, I’ll help you understand why and how your Enneagram type affects all the relationships in your life, and how to improve them, including the one with yourself. For full show notes and resources of each episode, head to Enneagram girl.com. Now let’s get started.

Have you been in those types of moments the one I was talking about where someone brings up the Enneagram. Once in a while there’s even someone in the group who’s read an Enneagram book or two and it’s their favorite hobby to talk about kind of like a party trick you have up your sleeve to entertain with, you probably won’t be surprised to hear that was me at one time too. As you can imagine, after becoming a certified Enneagram life coach and marriage coach and investing in courses and training for the past several years, I was excited to build a business professionally coaching people on how to understand themselves better, and how to make the important changes that impacted their lives in big ways. All by using the tools of the Enneagram.

I loved these conversations even more, because I researched and studied and trained so I could help people truly apply this in their real life in ways that was about so much more than their personality traits or trying to get someone’s type at a party. But I definitely felt responsible to introduce people into the deeper and the more purposeful layers of the Enneagram. It’s like getting past the party trick or the past the front door of just knowing what your type and your traits are. It’s about continuing the conversation and getting to hear their unique story and pinpoint the areas of their actual life where they really can use the long term growth tools of the Enneagram and improve their relationships and their well being. Hearing people talk about the Enneagram and all their curiosity about it sets my soul on fire in the best kind of way. One challenge that I find about 90% of the time though, is that people think knowing their number is all it’s about.

I’m of this number. So I like keeping the peace, or I’m of this number. So I like to have fun and see the positive side of things. This is where it’s hardest for me because it’s about so much more than that. You can actually improve your life in the most profound ways. It is a tool. It has a purpose. It is deep and complex. And it can also be simple and wonderful. When you apply each healthy piece of your Enneagram type into your real life. It’s so much more than a personality test or a number or a catalogue of your traits. It’s more than a bunch of memes on Instagram. Although I agree those memes are hilarious. I even am thinking of some of them now it just makes me laugh. My friend Kelsey at helping nine club on Instagram post the best in Enneagram memes every week, you’ll have to check her out. But still, the Enneagram is more than small talk at a party, or lines in a book. It has the potential to be one of those things a year or two from now in your life that you’ll look back on. And you’ll say, that was the thing that changed everything for me, for my marriage, for my friendships, for my business, for my parenting, and even for how I treat myself better.

I have so much more grace, more focus, and more fulfillment in my own life, because I’ve learned how to practice awareness and learn everything I could about how my type affects my life. And look, I get it, I know, you’re probably sitting there thinking, okay, lady, but I was just listening to this podcast, trying to fill some time to have something running in the background while I’m on my way to work in the car, or when I’m at home doing the dishes. And maybe you weren’t here listening to this podcast, to improve your marriage or to deepen your friendships, or to help you, as a parent, understand your teens better, or to help you figure out why you get so overwhelmed in the same season of life, year after year. Maybe you weren’t listening to this podcast to finally understand why you always do that same thing you do, over and over, even though you’ve realized that thing keeps working against you, not for you. But that’s why I created this podcast, we are going to walk through this together. Because and even though I know this might sound cheesy, you don’t have to be your own worst enemy anymore. Trust me, I was at one time too. You don’t have to keep having that same argument with your spouse over and over. You don’t have to keep attracting unavailable partners when you just want a long term healthy relationship. You don’t have to keep sabotaging your own success in your business, or falling behind with the same old excuses and patterns.

I want to make sure you don’t stop learning more about your conflict style, and your stance and how you filter the world and how you approach goals and your communication challenges. And all these other layers of the Enneagram that we haven’t even begin to touch upon. Don’t stop learning just before you’re getting to the good stuff. Because knowing your number and potential traits is only just the beginning. Yet, this is where a lot of people stop. They learn what type or number they are, and they stop right there. But not you Not anymore. Not after today, you’re more than a two or a helper, you’re more than a six or someone who may be prone to anxiety, you’re more than a three, someone who likes to achieve hashtag all the things, you’re more than someone who gets angry, or questions their value, or someone who feels less than or too much or too emotional. And only after you’ve learned all this more about you, the real you.

I’m going to help you learn more about the important people in your life to the people who really matter most to you, your spouse, your best friends, your new friend, your favorite client, or your ideal client, your teenager, and even your parents and oh my gosh, you guys p s knowing what Enneagram type your parents are, is a big aha moment in your life where things will start to make more sense, you will start to know, love and understand the people in your life in such a deeper, more intentional way.

And as this happens, everything really does change. So by this point, you’re probably wondering if I’m going to actually introduce you to the Enneagram or tell you about its history, or give you stats or debated details about where it started, or who’s the best Enneagram expert, but I won’t. I mean, I will of course introduce you to the Enneagram and all the nine types and the layers of each of those nine types. But the truth is, and this might be a hot take, I don’t care about the history of the Enneagram or who the best teacher is according to so and so. What I do care about is I care about people. I care about relationships, I care about you, and who matters most to you, and what matters most to you. I want to help you understand them better and yourself more than you ever have. Because what I do know about the Enneagram is that it helps people understand themselves and each other in ways we were not taught about in high school or college or by our parents? What are you really motivated by? What do you truly fear the most?

And I’m not talking about snakes or sharks. How do you handle conflict with others? How do you handle your own internal conflict? What do you do when anxiety, anger or shame hit you out of the blue? And honestly, why did it hit? Why does it sometimes feel like our lives are so out of control, even though we are the ones making all the decisions in our life? That just doesn’t make sense. Maybe we should start talking about that. And what awareness and accountability and effort start to look like. Let’s take the word Enneagram out for a second. The words I just mentioned before that motivation, fear, conflict, anger, shame. Those are the things that are really running our lives. Those are the things behind the actions we are taking, or that we’re not taking. They are behind why our relationships continue failing, or succeeding. They are behind everything. And taking the time to understand them, puts the control of your life back into your hands. It helps you take accountability, and it builds towards the life you really want. As an Enneagram to I’m motivated by being loved, appreciated and needed. And as you’ll learn, this can actually be negative, as much as it can sound positive. What do I mean by that? Let me tell you a little bit about my own Enneagram journey. When I was a little girl, and also through my teenage years, I often felt so misunderstood. I deeply loved my friends and family like I’m talking at Atlantic ocean deep type of love. I felt so many emotions all the time. When someone hurt my feelings.

It was as though they turned on a faucet of pain in my heart. And then it would just leak out a gallon of tears all the time. When someone made me feel happy and loved. I wanted to spend every moment with them, like it was about to be discontinued. I was obsessed. I craved that feeling of connection and love more than any delicious dessert in the world. That feeling of being wanted and loved was my goal in life above all else. But then along came being needed. Now we are talking my real first love language. When someone needed me or something from me. Oh, that was like the highest high there was in my little world. Being needed made me feel purposeful and worthy. And when I feel that person’s need, no matter what it was, it made me feel deserving of their love. I felt as though it was some type of trade off, like being loved for giving help.

What’s wrong with that, right? If they needed me, and I do what they need. And then I get those feelings of appreciation and purpose and love. And boy did I want all that so badly. Eventually, as I got older, I started feeling resentful. When I did help someone and they didn’t show me that same love and appreciation and return. The love I thought was supposed to be my reward for the giving. Well, sometimes that never came. But I kept helping and giving all I had. And because I had this natural instinct even as a young girl to know what other people’s needs were before they were even told to me. I just slid right into place taking care of them. The words of appreciation that followed was how I got my little high. I felt loved and needed and wanted and man, those were the best feelings. Are any of you ever choose resonating with this by the way, I didn’t feel like I was great at schoolwork or smart at math or patient. I saw other kids doing these great things that I just couldn’t But boy did I know how to be a good friend and a good daughter and a good student. I gave out every ounce of help and love that was in my little body to impress and earn appreciation and love especially afford from adults. It felt so good to make people happy.

It felt so good to give away all my good stuff. teachers loved me because I always volunteered to help with anything and everything. My friend’s parents loved me because I was that one kid who would come over and do the dishes at the sleepover or help set the table. That was my love language I would give to get eventually as I got into my late teens and early 20s Resentment began creeping in even more when I helped people and loved on people who weren’t showing the same level of appreciation or reciprocating that love that I was giving out so freely. I didn’t even have any left to give sometimes I don’t even know where it came from. This is one of those red flags for twos when we start seeing how being the helper, or being the reliable volunteer can be a negative thing, especially when you don’t take care of yourself. First, I was giving all of myself and depleting myself in the process. I had no idea at that time that I was an Enneagram, to which surprise is known as the helper. And that what I was doing was actually super unhealthy. It was not good for me, or for the relationships I was in, it was even putting those under pressure because I was expecting something in return. It all sounds wonderful to say that I was generous of help.

But it’s not wonderful to have that done. When I had an expectation that those people were going to love me back in the ways that I wanted that giving to get, and that is unhealthy Period, end of story. And if this is resonating with you, I hope you’ll consider changing this policy in your life to helping or giving with the expectation that the person will do the same thing for you, or love you more because of that. Well, that’s unhealthy for all types, not just for twos. But Enneagram twos seem to suffer most from this. And we have to put in some determined and intentional work to rewrite this part of our heart so that we can unlearn this behavior. Why is it unhealthy? Well, for one, it teaches us that we aren’t deserving of love, unless we give something away. And guess what, that’s just not true. The biggest lessons TOS often have to learn and actually put into practice is that it’s not okay when you’re giving to get, because usually, you’re just going to end up angry or disappointed or let down. And frankly, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. I know that sounds harsh to say, no one should be taken advantage of.

But if we keep laying it all out there all the while running on empty, and not serving ourselves or our family first, then we have to stop and we have to take accountability. It wasn’t until I started learning everything I could about being a type two. By researching and reading and learning and taking courses and everything I could get my hands on until I really saw this important area of my life start to change. It takes time. And it takes intentional effort, trust me, but it is the most worth it thing I’ve ever done. Essentially, the Enneagram changed my life. And because it changed my life, it changed my family’s life, my marriage, my friendships, my parenting, my health, and even my business. It made my marriage deeper and more connected.

It shifted the relationships with my kids in fundamental ways where I parented who they were not just from a place of who I was, I’ll be talking about that soon in the next episode. It improved my friendships because I started learning more about my friends types. So I could love them in the way they wanted to be loved and needed to be loved in a whole and healthy way. And not just from a give and take of the friendship. It helps me in my business to listen better, and to understand the needs of my clients in a way that served not only them, but also me as a business owner, I stopped wasting time where it was not valuable. And I started using my time more efficiently. My entire life slowly shifted into a more functional and healthy pattern.

I also felt so much less alone when I went through hard little seasons of life. Because I learned more about who I was and what I was really capable of. I cultivated my relationships in a more authentic and balanced way. One of the best parts of all of that though, was healing some of those areas within myself that needed to be loved, just for being me, no strings attached. I was worthy and deserving of whole and complete love, just like you are. I learned how to check in with my motivations and my purpose when I share or give to others so that I am no longer giving to get. And I learned to check my capacity first before I said yes, trust me, I still give and love on my people big time. But I always check in with myself first now to make sure I am taking care of me too. I wasn’t so great at that before. And I learned that giving was not some sort of transaction for love, appreciation or even friendship. Now I understand that my people love me just as much as I love them. I think some twos don’t believe that and I’m available to receive the unique ways that they like to love on me. It’s helped me set necessary boundaries to So that’s what it might look like for an Enneagram to. But how about for the rest of the types?

Let’s move into the nine types. I’m going to give you just a taste of what you can expect more of this season on the Enneagram girl podcast. First, though, if you haven’t taken an Enneagram test to figure out your number, I recommend pausing this podcast right here, and taking just a few minutes to do that, then, of course, please come back and join us. My favorite Enneagram test is the cloverleaf Enneagram test, I will put that exact link in your show notes below. After you take this test, you’ll learn more about your Enneagram type and your wing. Please keep in mind that the tests are not 100% accurate, it is possible to miss type or get a false result from an online test. And here’s why we sometimes take these tests and choose answers based on our best case scenarios, or who we wish we were. We aren’t entirely truthful when we answer most times unintentionally. And that might give us a miss type. So make sure you really think on each question and that you answer honestly from a place of how you have always been, not how you hope to be.

Also, there are a few types that can be similar to others. And that is where Miss types tend to occur as well. A miss type can leave you feeling more confused than understood. If you feel that way, at any point the best way to gain clarity and feel 100% confident and the result is to understand and research the motivation of that type. You can even reach out to work with a certified Enneagram coach like myself, and we can help you. I also created a free Enneagram typing guide for you. You can download it straight from my websites and learn more about all the different types, it will even have some of the information I’m about to go over. I’ll link this in your show notes as well. Remember, your number is assigned according to your core motivation and fears, not just based on your personality traits. While some people call it a personality test, it is less about personality and more about deeply understanding our motivation. It’s about your why the thought is if you can understand what truly motivates you and those around you, it’s easier to work towards what you really want in life instead of getting in your own way.

So let’s jump in to what I’ll call Enneagram 101, or the basics of each number. And keep in mind this is just barely scratching the surface. By the way, if you hear me say Enneagram number or Enneagram type, I’m referring to the same thing. Most Enneagram teachers and coaches will refer to Enneagram types, but I know sometimes people will call them Enneagram numbers, so both of these are fine. Let’s walk through the key starting points for each type, starting with Enneagram ones. Keep in mind there are nine types. Enneagram ones are usually known as the reformer or the perfectionist. The key to a type one is knowing their motivation or desire. They are motivated by being good being right and having integrity. They most fear being corrupt or defective or wrong. Their center of intelligence is through their gut or their body meaning they filter things viscerally.

Some of the ways that this might show up for a type one are that they are hardworking, they value precision and order. They tend to be rational and are idealists who are principled. They love doing things quote the right way. They desire to be accurate, especially in their work and they have integrity. They are very motivated to improve the world and the people around them. Some of the areas that they can have challenges in will look like perfection. Perfection can get the best of ones by holding them back and making them less productive. Instead of just getting it done or making progress. They’ll freeze up in that perfectionism because they can’t find a way to make it just perfect. They can be harder on themselves than even their biggest critic. Now let’s talk twos. Enneagram twos are known as the helper or the hostess. The key to a type two is knowing their motivation or desire. They are most motivated by feeling loved and appreciated and needed. They most fear being unwanted unworthy of love or too much. Their center of intelligence is through their heart, meaning they filter things emotionally. Some of the ways this might show up for two are that they enjoy serving and helping others.

They even know what other people need before they might say it to them. They are empathetic and see the world through relationships and connection. They are supportive and encouraging and usually become advisors who show up as selfless and generous even to strangers. Some of the challenges that choose face are because they become So outward focused leads them to becoming like an emotional sponge who take on other people’s energy, both positive and negative. Their desire to be appreciated and needed can lead to people pleasing and a struggle with pride. They can also be overbearing or codependent in a relationship. Let’s go on to Enneagram threes. Enneagram threes are known as the achiever or the performer. They are most motivated by feeling valuable, being successful or being admired. They fear being inefficient or failing or being worthless. They’re a center of intelligence is through their heart, meaning they filter things emotionally. Some of the ways this might show up for a type three are that they are highly motivated individuals.

They are adaptive and success oriented. They’re often efficient, enthusiastic and productive. While being great at achieving goals and setting goals for both themselves and their team. They can be very competitive. Some of the challenges are that they often will take the lead even if it means cutting corners on things they see as an unnecessary part. They can be insensitive to others while in their achieving space. And their desire to be admired can tend to make them more image focused, which can make them lose sight of truly connecting within their relationship. Enneagram fours your turn Enneagram fours are known as the individualist or the romantic. They are most motivated by finding themselves being unique or special and their significance.

They fear being flawed or without identity or being inadequate or insignificant. Their center of intelligence is through their heart, meaning they filter things emotionally. Some of the ways this might show up for a type four are that they are emotionally honest and can hold space for the deep feelings of others. They are endearing and tend to be highly creative and inspiring. They are sensitive and can find beauty even in the most painful of circumstances, some of the challenges they face or they may need more time to withdraw into their feelings, and can sometimes even wallow in self pity. They can be envious of others while denying it because they can believe they are flawed and inadequate. For as long for a sense of belonging deep down and worry other people might not truly ever understand them.

Enneagram fives fives are known as the investigator or the thinker. They’re most motivated by being capable, useful, knowledgeable and competent. They fear being useless having no energy being helpless or incapable. Their center of intelligence is through their minds, meaning they filter things through thinking. Some of the ways this might show up for a type five are that they are intellectual thinkers who are very observant, and often they’re more introverted than extroverted. They’re curious, independent love, innovation, and like to gather as much knowledge and research before making a decision. They’re analytical therefore needing time to process some of the challenges fives can face our they can seem eccentric, or preoccupied with their own thoughts which can hurt their relationships by not participating emotionally, or that they can lack a desire to be present.

Their gathering of vast knowledge and analytical style can come across sometimes as an arrogance or superiority. Enneagram sixes sixes are known as the loyalist or the guardian. They are most motivated by being safe, loyalty, security and being supported. They fear being in danger being without support targeted or being unprepared. Their center of intelligence is through their mind. They filter things through thinking. Some of the ways this might show up for a type six are that they are committed and responsible and effective. They are the guardians of their people and make sure they have what they need going into every situation.

They are great team players they are hard workers and they are loyal to those they care about. Some of the challenges are that because of their deep need for stability and security, they can suffer from constant anxiety, overthinking and consistent fears. Sixes can be drawn to safe authority figures while also rejecting them and a counter phobic style of way. Trust has to be earned by a six before it is given Enneagram sevens. sevens are known as the enthusiast or the entertainer. They are most motivated by being satisfied or content. They like being free and being fulfilled. They fear of being deprived or trapped in their pain or unsatisfied.

Their center of intelligence is through their mind. They filter things through thinking some of the ways this might show up for a type seven are that they are entertaining optimist in the group. They like to stay busy but be spontaneous and not tied down. They are fun loving, playful and down for new people and new experiences. Some of the challenges sevens face or that they can be unreliable or unfocused, and they don’t like being limited. Because of their desire to be satisfied and stimulated, they will often avoid processing their real pain. They tend to blame others for what is happening to them and can sometimes refuse to work on the growth that is needed and their relationships Enneagram eights, eights are known as the Challenger or the protector.

They are motivated by protecting themselves being independent, autonomous and self reliant. They fear being controlled by others or being vulnerable or being harmed. Their center of intelligence is through their gut or body. They filter things viscerally. Some of the ways this might show up for a type eight are that they are the leaders who are often powerful, they are self confident and protective, both of themselves and others. They like making decisions quickly, and they desire to be in control or lead most of the time. They like to defend others from injustice, and protect themselves from all levels of threat. They have big energy and they like to live life to the fullest. Some of the challenges are that they can come across as intimidating or intends.

Sometimes they can make others uncomfortable because they are very comfortable with confrontation, or conflict Enneagram nines nines are known as the peacemaker, or the mediator, they are most motivated by having inner stability and peace of mind. They like to avoid whatever would cause conflict in their environment. They fear tension, separation, loss arguments, or losing peace around them. Their center of intelligence is through their gut or body. They filter things viscerally. Some of the ways this might show up for a type nine are that they are easygoing, adaptable, and usually the mediators who are agreeable and patient, they make great teammates because they are supportive and reassuring to all the people around them. They like to see everyone’s point of view. And they don’t usually share their own opinions for fear of upsetting someone in the group. One of the challenges that nines face are that they are so conflict avoidant, that they can withdrawal from their role in their relationship. And that can harm the connection.

They have difficulty creating structure. And they struggle with following through all the way to the end of the task. Because of becoming complacent, they can miss out on great opportunities. Okay, so now you’ve heard just a little piece of the puzzle for each of the nine types. And again, this is just a small piece. This is not a label, this does not mean all those types are all exactly that way. We have so much more coming up the rest of this season as we go deeper and deeper. We haven’t even understood how each type finds harmony, or handles conflict. We haven’t even started talking about how to different types might look in a relationship together, whether that’s in a friendship, or dating or marriage, or even as parents, this and so much more will be coming up this season on the Enneagram girl podcast. Because adding in your personal story and your experiences, your values and the way that you do life will help you know where there is potential for growth and change so that you are living a life that reflects what really matters to you.

And so that you can leave a legacy that you’d be proud to pass on. Plus, if you are in a relationship, one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner or your children is to learn more about you and to understand how you are showing up in the world, and how that is impacting those relationships you are in. So while knowing your type and resonating with the traits of that type is such a fun starting point. I want to encourage you to come on back and learn more and go deeper. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do together this season. I’m going to be here with you. And for you every step of the way. Consider me your new Enneagram and relationship coach bestie and on the next episode, I am sharing one of my most favorite interviews with one of my most favorite people in the whole world. And trust me, we’re going to go there. I want to be as vulnerable with you, as I’m asking you to be with me on this journey and with yourself. I’m not here to fix you. I want to help elevate you and free you from being your own worst enemy. When you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed or stressed or disappointed when you are reacting in anger, withdrawal, shame, or if you’re lacking confidence, I can help you understand why. And I can help you with the tools to start shifting those patterns. You are here listening to this today for a reason.

You need someone on your team. And that person I hope is me. So hit that subscribe button. And let’s do this together. See you next time. Thanks for listening to the Enneagram girl podcast. I’d be so thankful if you’d leave a rating and review in your favorite podcast player. And subscribe to stay updated when each new episode drops are full show notes and resources of the episode. Head to Enneagram girl.com See you next time my friends.